Travel Bug

So I haven’t written on here for a while (not that I think anyone would notice) as I have been rather busy…you know jet setting off to the Greek Islands and all!

It’s been crazy lately; I survive on very little sleep ALL the time.  And the lead up to going away was as stressful/exciting as is to be expected with me. I almost didn’t go. I thought I was going from Wednesday the 15^th to Thursday the 23^rd, and this is what I told my work. Whereas actually I was doing my Greek Islands tour on those dates but flying to Athens on Tuesday the 14^th and returning to London on Friday the 24^th. When did I discover this? On the Monday. In between working at the bookstore and the pub I wanted to check my flight time to see when I should get the train to Gatwick airport. I noticed the day and date and subsequently freaked out! I was not prepared AT ALL! As I was working the pub that night I’d left Tuesday to be when I would buy the stuff I needed for the trip, pack and get myself prepared. On top of this I had two girlfriends from home coming to stay with me the Monday and Tuesday night!  I thought Tuesday I could cook dinner and spend some quality time catching up with those girls. Unfortunately not. Instead, on the Monday, I used the office in the pub to print out my travel documents and sort out my train. I tried to get in contact with the bookstore and tell them I would not be coming in the next day but I couldn’t get hold of anyone. The two girls from home came and got my flat keys off me at the pub, took their stuff to my place, met my housemates and then came back to the pub to hang out with me. Another one of my friends who has just moved back to London also came to spend time with me. A bit crap really that the only time I could see my friends was whilst I was working! Then I finished work around 11.30, went home and started packing whilst skyping (is that a word?) with Australia. Bedtime was 3am. Alarm to wake up was 5am. Met the girls I was travelling with at 7am and was on a plane to Athens at 9am!

So you can understand that when we checked into our hostel I promptly passed out. But was awake before happy hour ended and went up to the rooftop bar to drink Mythos, whilst overlooking the sun set over the Acropolis. Ah, what a life!

I feel so lucky that I’m able to have this lifestyle. Even if it does burn me out a bit sometimes. I’d agreed to work the Friday night that I was flying back on. My shift started at 6pm, my flight was delayed so wasn’t back in my area of London until 6.20 when I picked my keys up from the pub (the girls who stayed at mine had left them there for me), went home and was back to work at 6.45. Good effort, I think!

Anyway as the girls I was in Greece with have continued on to other parts of Europe I can’t help but reminisce to a year ago when I was lucky enough to be travelling. And only travelling. I didn’t have a job or a fixed address, I didn’t know where I would be in a couple of months and I often didn’t even know where I was going to be in a couple of days! I fell in love with this. I feel in love with travelling. Or, I got the ‘travel bug’.

Of course it’s very easy to conveniently forget that there are some shit times when you are travelling. Things will always go wrong. Trust me, I know. There will be times where it’s all too hard, it’s too hot and your backpack is heavy and your train is delayed and you don’t have accommodation and you don’t want to have to figure out where you’re going to go when you arrive at 6am and the people you are with are getting on your nerves and they had a screaming match in the middle of the street with one another…..etc etc. But seriously, if that’s the worst of your problems well I think that makes me pretty damn lucky!

Similar to when a relationship ends and you can only think of the good times, this is what happens when you look back over your travels. I don’t care that my luggage was left in Spain when I went to France or that they didn’t put our carriage on the train between the Netherlands and Germany. These make for rather interesting and funny travel anecdotes. What I remember is just having a ball, seeing amazing things and meeting different people! I know I’ve said all those things before and statements like that are vague so I’m going to hopefully update more often with interesting stories.

Basically travel is the reason I’m here and I had a conversation yesterday that I think would’ve been interesting to anyone who overheard. It went a little something like this:

“Hello.”                      

“Hey, how are you? How was Greece?”

“Awesome. Where are you?”

“The airport. Just got back from Germany”

“What airport?”

“Luton. Only here for a night and then flying to Ireland tomorrow.”

“Oh cool. How long are you there for?”

“Until Saturday. Wanna do something Saturday night?”

“I can’t. I have plans. When do you go away next?”

“Sunday. Going to Egypt.”

“How long are you there for?”

“Three and a half weeks. Back on about the 23^rd of October.”

“Oh, I’m in Vegas then.”

“Really? Dammit. I go back to Aus on the 2^nd of November.”

“Ok. Might see you after Vegas then!”

I mean seriously.  

Do you ever get that feeling?

Like you knew this was happening, you felt it coming for a long time, and yet, when it comes, it hits you harder than you ever thought. I mean you know it’s actually the best thing that could be happening right now and in your heart of hearts you know it’s what you want. And need (for that matter). But hang on now that it’s happened…wait, what? Everything’s changing? It’s going to be different from now on?

Um why did that not occur to me? Well I do not know. Maybe I was avoiding having these sorts of feelings until it was actually impossible not to have them. Or maybe it’s just me. I am a rather sensitive sally sometimes and do get overwhelmed. It’s been this way since I was little and I really struggled with the whole ‘going back to school’ thing. I also did a lot of the ‘procrastinate and leave everything until the very last minute and then freak out the night before even though freaking out doesn’t help in anyway’. Sometimes for this little lady-it all gets a bit much. I’ll be honest, sometimes change scares me. Other times I embrace it, I instigate, I love it. But there are times when I feel lost or lonely or left behind because the world-it constantly changes around me. Whether I like it or not. And I think when the change involves a loss. Well then it’s definitely going to hit me. I get nostalgic and think of all the good times and remember all the plans that never happened, you know, start looking through some rather rose coloured glasses. It feels like you suddenly left, its too soon! Even though you have both been waiting for this for a long time. Reality twists itself and no matter how illogical suddenly that is the way I’m thinking-that it was better than it was. But, then again, sometimes it is that good. Or at least too good for it to be gone forever. This is where my head can actually talk some sense into my heart. You see I have been in love and had my heart squashed through the ending of a relationship. But the one time I’ve actually had my heart broken? That was my Dad. Nothing will ever compare to that pain (for me personally, well nothing has so far and I really really really hope nothing ever does again). So yes I do get hurt and I get sad and I fall- in a good way- and get knocked down- in a bad way-, but no boy will ever break my heart the way fate did 2 years and 2 and a half months ago.

Ok so I’m sad that I had to say goodbye to yet another friend. And this was not just any friend either. And hopefully we will remain friends, so it’s not really that bad at all. I also know it’s not the end of the world and I’m incredibly lucky and blessed to have my health and my loved ones back home and friends here who will remain my friends and look out for me. I live in a flat with cool people, I’m employed so I have the means to eat and drink and go out and do things-like travel! I have many many positives in my life. And for that-I’m incredibly grateful.

I think I’m just shocked at my reaction, although it is me, so I probably shouldn’t be. But I think that’s what this is about-me. Yep- being self-absorbed here because my reaction is very ‘what am I going to dooooooooooooooo?’ All about me etc etc.

Well let me just say-it sucks being the one left behind. No matter what sort of way the relationship is defined. The person leaving gets all the attention and the ‘I’ll miss you’s and the presents and cards and letters. And they get to go off and continue their adventure and everything for them is new and exciting. For the person left behind-well they have the same life. But with something missing. And this is a kind of significant something. And I know how good it is for the person leaving because I’ve done it! And I didn’t even try to put myself in the other person’s shoes-I was off having a great time, seeing the world! I was off on an exciting journey; there was no time for sadness or reminiscing. Well it’s a little different this time around. Although if we’re being honest and rational here; you’ve survived many good years without the person who’s left and  I’m sure you’ll survive many more. There should only be positives from this, at the end of the day, it is what it is.

But I think from now on I’d like to be the one leaving. Thanks.

Note: I already feel a whole lot better since I first wrote this. It’s funny how quickly I can bounce back from being rather emotional.