London footpaths are not a place of equality. Yes, we all have to live harmoniously in this city but, let’s be honest, there are almost 8 million people living here – and only a certain amount of footpath.
It has been suggested that places like Oxford Street should have a fast and a slow lane – for pedestrians. I vote yes! In that area, you could pretty much label them; ‘resident’ and ‘tourist’ as once you’ve lived here for a while you don’t want to amble along to take photographs. When I am walking somewhere, it’s usually because I have somewhere I need to be – and I would like to get there as soon as possible. This is not to say I don’t appreciate the sights I walk past everyday (The London Eye, Big Ben, The Gherkin, The Shard, Westminster Abbey, St Pauls to name a few!) but when I need to get from A to B, well, I would like to get there! Preferably without being frustrated by my fellow path dwellers. I’m sure they are very nice people but couldn’t they just follow some simple advice and make the path a happier place for all of us?
Here are some of the most annoying things people do whilst walking along the footpath in London;
People who believe they are fast walkers but need to swing their arms incredibly wide.
You end up taking up the entire path which means the people who actually walk fast can’t get around you.
Couples who space themselves weirdly.
You couldn’t go around them on either side and going through the middle of lovers is a little weird (that’s not to say I wouldn’t do it though).
People who stop suddenly.
This is very common in the touristy areas; people want to stop to take pictures/ admire scenery etc. but seriously, why not consider who is behind you? Someone might have a nice pace going and you are going to fuck it up. Perhaps one of the worst (and most common) occurrences of this is at tube/train stations – when you get through the barrier, keep walking! Just because you have got through doesn’t mean the (potentially) thousands of people behind you don’t need to!
People who are waiting for a bus and space themselves all over the FOOTPATH.
This frustrates me so much! When I am walking to the train station in the morning I walk past 2 bus stops, right next to each other where people scatter themselves (seemingly) everywhere whilst waiting for buses. I have to dip, duck, dive and weave around them. Seriously it is like I’m happily walking along and then all of a sudden there are people just standing still – directly in my way. I get sick of hearing myself say, ‘excuse me, excuse me, excuse me’. I wonder if the day will come where I just yell, ‘for fuck’s sake, do you not see that this is a PATH?!’
I actually have fantasies of coming out in the dead of night and spray painting on the ground the words, ‘THIS IS A PATH’.
And, I’m going to leave it at that…considering what I have just admitted above, perhaps I should chill out! But seriously everyone, let’s treat the footpath like the roads - we need to be aware of our fellow motorists walkers, respect one another and be safe.
And please stay out of my way if you should be in the slow lane!
